Introversion is not a disease
Throughout the history of man, especially in the United States, extroversion has been the preference. Extroverts are celebrated for being outgoing, chatting everyone up, being the loudest in the room, so on and so forth. Nothing against them, of course- we need extroverts for balance. But the scale is more often than not, wildly imbalanced because introverts are shunned and criticized for being reserved, observant, quiet, etc.
Sound familiar?
If you’re an introvert, or more introverted than not, it probably hits close to home. You’ve probably been told you have low emotional intelligence by your boss because more extroverted colleagues have complained that you’re ‘cold’. People try to (forcefully) encourage you to talk more, speak up, or participate in extracurricular activities when you’d rather be home reading a good book. You’ve been called “quirky” because an extroverted person just can’t quite put their finger on why they deem you weird for not being like them. The list goes on and on.
It’s just like a vegan/vegetarian or someone that does Crossfit. That’s one of the first things they’ll tell anyone about themselves. People who eat meat or prefer a different workout routine aren’t bothered by vegans, vegetarians, or Crossfitters. BUT, plant-forward advocates and Crossfitters on the other hand…have quite a bit to say about lifestyles different than their own. Queue the “you’re eating rotting flesh”, “humans weren’t meant to eat meat” and “that workout won’t give you real results” comments.
The reality is, that aside from feeling attacked with extroversion from time to time, introverts don’t have much to say about them. That’s just who they are. Extroverts, on the other hand, have a lot to say about introverts. Numerous suggestions and advice on how they can ‘get out there’, ‘improve their personal brand’ and ‘get socialized’ (as if introverts were puppies) are provided, unprovoked. They think something is wrong with introverted personalities and simply must be fixed- which they, of course, can help with…by forcing some form of extroversion that makes them more comfortable.
It’s high time for introverts to own their personality traits and even higher time for extroverts to realize that they’re not responsible for getting introverts 'out of their shell’. Introversion does not equate to shyness. It is not painful, introverts are not anxiety-ridden. They are, however, observant, thoughtful, and can typically talk to anyone they want - when they want. They hate small talk and aren’t going to say something in a meeting just so they’ve said…something. If and when they speak up, it’s to offer something substantial to the larger group, something that’s been thought out and organized in their head prior to coming out of their mouth.
We have to end the split between extroversion and introversion. One is not better than the other and we need them both in the world. But first, we have to stop treating extroverts like the golden child and introverts like the timid step sister. Further, extroverts have got to respect their introverted counterparts more. They’re not a project for you to fix. There’s nothing to fix. Let them be just like they let you be and most importantly, read the freaking room.
Introverts: own your personality traits and don’t let extroverts (friends, bosses, colleagues) make you feel like you’re less-than because you’re not loud and rowdy.
Extroverts: everyone is ok with your personality traits. Pay it forward and respect those that aren’t like you just the same.
Sincerely,
An introverted Black/Hispanic/professional woman that extroverted/non-brown men and women are always trying to ‘fix’ (please stop)
